


it's over, isn't it?

by Tommo_loves_Haz



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 04:17:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18229796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommo_loves_Haz/pseuds/Tommo_loves_Haz
Summary: this is not a fanfic, or some story. this is just some feelings that came out a bit poetic, and i wanted to post it.nobody has to read this, it's just here for fun. but if you do read this...I hope you like it? I guess?





	it's over, isn't it?

it’s over, isn’t it? everything is going down around me, and it’s all just really strange to see. i knew, far in the past, that this day would come. i knew it, with a certainity that nobody could take away. i knew that i would end up alone. but i wasn’t expecting her to come around. when people say that a person lights up their world, i always find it as an exaggeration. then it happened to me, and it wasn’t so hard to believe anymore. she managed to change the one thing i was certain of. i shouldn’t had let that happen. if i hadn’t, i would have been more prepared for this moment. it wouldn’t have catch me so unprepared. i wouldn’t be seeing everything crumble around me with wide eyes and a racing heartbeat. but of course i let myself be led into another direction. she took my hand and led me into a road that is so dangerous, that i’m now stuck in it. the hope she gave me, is now the one thing that is killing me.

but it’s over, isn’t?

even if i cry, even if i sob, there is nothing that will bring her back. i’ll talk to the moon like a fool, praying that she can get my message. but i can see how the moon looks down at me with pity, because she knows that she has already moved on. 

and it’s over, isn’t it?

even if at every wish opportunity i get, i wished with my fingers crossed, i know nothing will happen. not even if i prayed with my whole heart and soul. nothing will manage to bring back what i have lost.

but it’s over, isn’t it?

all the sweet memories are now knives that stab my heart at night when i stare up at the ceiling. my smile is something that hurts to bring up, and i’m unsure if people notice the weird shine that my eyes have. and i hope that they don’t notice that it’s just the tears that are threating to spill out. 

and it’s over, isn’t?

everything is gone. the things that we build. i’m already trying to forget about the beautiful times, and i know that it’s pointless because they are buried in a box that i have lost the key to. i’ll try to find it. i’ll try my best to erase every touch that my skin knows from you. but i know that it’s impossible because you are now engraved in my very core. i try to think about the nice things, but they are all so painful to look back on. i see my past self, and i see how she smiles without worry, and how she sees a beautiful future for herself with you. she had been crushed before, but she still managed to have hope. she managed to set her beliefs aside and go with you on a path to recovery. i’m so sorry for her. she was fooled, and now i’m dealing with the consequences. i’m sorry for hoping. i’m sorry for being a fool.

and i know you say that nothing bad will happen, that not only would we continue to be friends, but we could still talk any time i want to. but you also say that things are going to change, and i don’t know if you realize how that affects me. it hurts, because i don’t want it to change. knowing your loving side, and then suddenly saying goodbye to it, is something i wasn’t prepared for. i know you can never be truly ready for it, but a heads-up would’ve been nice.

but it’s okay.

it’s going to have to be fine, because i need to put up a nice smile for everyone. how i wish that i could suddenly wake up and realize that everything was just an awful nightmare. i’m not lying when i say that today, i woke up, thinking that what happened was all just a lie. then i saw that you weren’t there, and i got hit by the truth. you are gone. you are gone, but the worst part is that you are still here. 

you know, after letting my loving side out, it’s going to be tough to put it aside again. it’s going to be hard to not seek your eyes and hope to see some of the love that i feel reflected back. it’s going to be really tough to not lean my head on your shoulder, seeking the comfort that your warmth brings my soul. i don’t think you understand just how hard this is going to be for me. seeing you go and be like you are every day. seeing you smile and laugh, and remembering all the smiles that i managed to give you on our time together. it’s going to be hard to pretend that my heart is right in my chest, when really, you are still holding it hostage. some people might think that i would take it all back, just so i wouldn’t be feeling the pain that i’m feeling right now. but they are all mistaken; i would never take it back. yes, i would change some things, but they are only minor changes: like being bold enough to talk to you. having enough bravery to hold your hand. kissing you when i had the chance. not wasting my opportunities second-guessing my every move. 

i don’t know if it’s definitive. i don’t know if there is any chance at the fact that i could hear your late night talks again. and i’m also not sure if all this escenarios are just an illusion that my hope is coming up with, just to torture me further. and it’s more than clear that i haven’t learnt my lesson yet, because i’m still hoping. i’m still hoping that nothing will change. that you aren’t too far gone yet, and that i can manage to bring you back. 

i know i’m a fool. i know that i’m quite stupid. and i also know that i’m in love. 

but truly? i don’t care. all i care about is your smile, your happiness. i’ll take care of myself and my emotions, but i want to see you happy as well. i wish harder than i have wished before, that we could be together again. that i could help you with anything that this cruel world might throw at you. but maybe my destiny is just to watch you from the side. i’m not entirely sure yet. but i’ll let you have your time. take your decisions. i’ll wait, for as long as it takes. i’ll always be by your side, no matter what. my love is always going to be there for you, and i will never let you go. as long as you want me by your side, i’m not going anywhere. i will never, and hear me well,  _ never _ , leave you alone. 

i love you, my flower. my star. my moon. i love you. eu te amo. je taime. te amo.

i will forever do that. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> that was it. Hope I didn't sound too weird, and that this wasn't too creepy…woops


End file.
